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January 28

Jamie's Russian Roulette: Ending communism one spin at a time.

Another round of bullshit coming up. Woop woop, bitches. Oh god I hope this is funny please do you guys like me yet?

Jamie says:
RIDE THE BOX!
Jamie says:
Hey guys, I'm a popular celebrity that the younger generation such as yourselves will recognise, despite my being fifty and looking like a paedophile!
Jamie says:
Watch as I wow and confuse you with outdated teen slang!
Jamie says:
Radical!
Jack says:
OHO
Jack says:
Zing.
Jamie says:
So buy my new game, REHASH 900!
Jamie says:
Unlock challenging achievements such as guessing which celebrity I'm mocking here!
Jamie says:
Or getting ten thousand points by playing a trap card with a power level of OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAND
Jack says:
...
Jack says:
Your quoting
Jamie says:
Nupe.
Jamie says:
Your Quoting was before your time, how do you know about the famous 15th century playwrite?
Jamie says:
HOW DO YOU KNOW
Jack says:
Easy
Jamie says:
C'mon, guess who it was.
Jack says:
No.
Jamie says:
You're no fun.
Jamie says:
Fine, I'll ask the Internet.

So I am. Guess! Leave a comment! Please? D :

Jamie says:
Know what else was laissez-faire?
Jamie says:
The government in the early nineteenth century!
Jamie says:
Hah!
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
well
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
this has been informative
Jamie says:
If you're doing history coursework then I'd've just passed you.
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
unfortunately I'm doing english, but thanks for the hot tip anyway
Jamie says:
Awesome!
Jamie says:
'cha gotta do?
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
speech
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
on ANYTHING
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
it's explain, describe and narrate
Jamie says:
"Why I'm better than you."
Jamie says:
"This is a mirror. Look at it. Now look at me.
That is all."
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
wow. You really have the coursework shiznit covered
Jamie says:
Hells yeah!
Jamie says:
I find leaving it until the last minute helps.
Jamie says:
I've got English, ICT and Biology to do tonight!
Jamie says:
For tomorrow!
Jamie says:
Awesome!
Jamie says:
And instead of doing it I'm talking shit over the Internet!
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
wow
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
I have so much to learn
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
But,
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
some guy at school told me learning is gay
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
and being gay is morally wrong
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
so I'm affraid I can't learn from you
Jamie says:
You have about five seconds before my boyfriend kicks the shit out of you.
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
...
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
I paniced
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
and then made a typo
Jamie says:
MORAL PANIC ALERT
Jamie says:
GAY MUSLIM PAEDOPHILE TERRORISTS ARE TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN HOW TO LEARN...WITH VIOLENT MEDIA!
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
have you been reading the daily mail?
Jamie says:
"The other day, my little Timmy came home and demanded I buy him KillBloodMurderGame 4: The Rapening or he'd bust a cap in my lily white ass!"
Jamie says:
"Where could he have learned it! I mean, I don't know because I pretty much work all day and have no time to supervise him but I am shocked and outraged that he learned such awful behaviour after I spent £400 on the prequels!"
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
yeah...
- Josh. New email: Josh.F-@hotmail.co.uk - *9mil doing coursework D: says:
pity
Jamie says:
Parent and rapper "50 Cent" had this to say.
Jamie says:
"Man, when my little dawgs come home, I tell 'em to sit their asses down, shut they mouths, and get me a goddamn steak made of gold. That tires 'em out so much, they can't do shit! My chair and my golden cow is at the other side of my mansion, so they carry some heavy shit 'round all day. It also trains 'em fo' when they like me; carryin' 'round eight pounds o' gold on mah neck, where I was shot fourteen times by my milkman, Joe."

I hope this was entertaining. I'm sorry if it wasn't. Thanks for your time.

December 18

Watch In Amazement As I BLOW YOUR MINDS.

(16:07) Jamie:	I fell down the stairs again today.
(16:15) Jamie:	Thank you for your concern.
(16:15) *** "I wish I:	.....
(16:16) Jamie:	?
(16:16) *** "I wish I:	Why the sarcastic remark?
(16:18) Jamie:	Because I told you I fell down the stairs and you didn't say anything.
(16:19)	:-* *** "I wish I could...."(F) has changed his/her name to ":-* *** "You've been the only thing that's right in all i've done...."(F)"
(16:20) Jamie:	And now you don't say anything when I tell you you didn't say anything when I said I fell down the stairs.
(16:20) *** "You've be:	Jamie says: I fell down the stairs again today. T_T *** "I wish I could...." says: Hug *** "I wish I could...." says: In school? You OK? Jamie says: Thank you for your concern
(16:21) Jamie:	I didn't get those.
(16:21) Jamie:	...The emote still makes it mocking. <.< >.>
(16:22) *** "You've be:	You fell down the stairs... Lets face it, you deserve a liiiiittle mocking
(16:23) Jamie:	It's not my fault..
(16:23) Jamie:	I blame public transport.
(16:23) Jamie:	Because both times I had been on itl
(16:23) Jamie:	*it
(16:23) Jamie:	...Curse my need to have my slippers and quilt and something else in my hand when a show comes on TV so I have to run downstairs.
(16:24) *** "You've be:	The bus?
(16:24) *** "You've be:	I always fall down the stairs on busses
(16:24) Jamie:	Not on the bus. In my house.
(16:24) Jamie:	...WHY WOULD I BE WEARING SLIPPERS AND A QUILT ON A BUS.
(16:24) Jamie:	Maybe in your anarchic shithole of a country, but here in England, we have standards, sah!
(16:26)	:-* *** "You've been the only thing that's right in all i've done...."(F) has changed his/her personal message to "That slow guitar reminds me just what i've done. \|\| (*) .. Oxegen"
(16:27) Jamie:	Did you reply and I didn't get it, or are you in awe.
(16:27) *** "You've be:	I thought you fell on the bus
(16:28) Jamie:	Jamie says: ...Curse my need to have my slippers and quilt and something else in my hand when a show comes on TV so I have to run downstairs. *** "You've been the only thing that's right in all i've done...." says: The bus?
(16:28) Jamie:	Yes, the bus.
(16:28) Jamie:	Where I do all my slipper-wearing and quilt-shuffling.
(16:28) *** "You've be:
(16:29) Jamie:	What the hell.
(16:29) Jamie:	I dropped a skittle.
(16:29) Jamie:	I may have to look for it.
(16:29) Jamie:	Found it.
(16:31) *** "You've be:
(16:31) Jamie:	I'm in my comfy chair in my quilt and it's warm and nice. Yeah. Where are you, bitch.
(16:33) *** "You've be:	Lying on my side on my bed really uncomfomfortable copying & pasting a quote from a movie last night, with my room a mess because im meant to be cleaning it
(16:33) Jamie:	Damn right.
(16:34) Jamie:	Know your place, you poverty-ridden...Uhm...Name a poor person's profession.
(16:34) Jamie:	This LP scares me.
(16:35) *** "You've be:	Windowcleaner?
(16:35) Jamie:	"I have a complete collection of dildos." "Really?" "Yeah, I had the glass one, but it broke one time while it was in my ass." "...Owch."
(16:35) Jamie:	Window cleaner is too long./
(16:35) Jamie:	Less skill.
(16:36) Jamie:	"My first anal animal." "That should be a videogame."
(16:36) Jamie:	"It would come with a colouring book."
(16:39) Jamie:	"Can they choose the colour of your ass?" "No."
(16:40) *** "You've be:
(16:42) Jamie:	Last mock today.
(16:43) Jamie:	Actual pre-exam question:
(16:43) *** "You've be:	What was it?
(16:43) Jamie:	Maths Calculator.
(16:44) Jamie:	"Jamie, if you were in prison, and you were in the showers, and this huge black guy drops the soap meaning for you to pick it up, then he starts molesting you, do you face the floor, or look him in the eye and take it?" "I said I'd ignore it." "You couldn't ignore it. His dick is the size of my forearm. You cannot ignore that."
(16:45) *** "You've be:
(16:48) Jamie:	Amuse meeee.
(16:49) *** "You've be:	I cant i've to finish my room now
(16:50)	:-* *** "You've been the only thing that's right in all i've done...."(F) has changed his/her status to Busy
(16:50)	:-* *** "You've been the only thing that's right in all i've done...."(F) has changed his/her name to "(Cleaning) :-* *** "You've been the only thing that's right in all i've done...."(F)"
(16:51) Jamie:	Why?
(16:51) Jamie:	Can you see the floor?
(16:56) (Cleaning) ***:	yeah
(16:56) (Cleaning) ***:	but the roof is getting painted
(16:56) (Cleaning) ***:	so i have to clear my room
(16:56) Jamie:	DO YOU LIVE ON THE ROOF
(16:56) Jamie:	NO
(16:56) Jamie:	THEN IT'S FINE.
(16:57) (Cleaning) ***:	Ceiling*
(16:57) Jamie:	Wha'.
(16:57) Jamie:	Why do you need the ceiling painted..
(17:00) (Cleaning) ***:	because it hasnt been painted in like 5 years
(17:00) Jamie:	Nor have you. I don't see you volunteering to be painted.
(17:00) (Cleaning) ***:
(17:02) (Cleaning) ***:	Im emptying out stuff from last year
(17:02) (Cleaning) ***:	It's really depressing
(17:03) Jamie:	Emptying out?
(17:04) Jamie:	People employed to paint just paint.
(17:04) Jamie:	It's all they can do.
(17:04) Jamie:	Not look at/for things.
(17:06) (Cleaning) ***:	its my dad
(17:06) (Cleaning) ***:	or me if hes too lazy
(17:06) Jamie:	Oh. Right.
(17:06) Jamie:	Here we have people to do that.
(17:07) (Cleaning) ***:	I go out of my ways to do stuff
(17:07) (Cleaning) ***:	Parents wont always be here
(17:07) (Cleaning) ***:	I have to learn while i can
(17:07) Jamie:	If you wait long enough, someone will do it for you.
(17:10) Jamie:	I've no idea what I'm going to do with my life, so I might as well start when I figure that out.
(17:11) (Cleaning) ***:
(17:11) (Cleaning) ***:	I JUST REMMEBERED I HAVE A SHREDDER
(17:11) (Cleaning) ***:	I CAN HAVE SO MUCH MORE FUN WITH THESE BOOKS
(17:11) (Cleaning) ***:	BRB
(17:13) Jamie:	Books?
(17:13) (Cleaning) ***:	old school books
(17:13) (Cleaning) ***:	including like 20 textbooks i was meant to give back
(17:13) Jamie:	Why shred them?
(17:14) Jamie:	If you made them into compost and put them on your fields you wouldn't have famines. You jerkoffs.
(17:15) (Cleaning) ***:	the famine was caused by a disease you prick
(17:16) Jamie:	And you'd no chance of curing a disease when you still hadn't worked out more than one thing was edible.
(17:17) Jamie:	Ohh, burn.
(17:18) (Cleaning) ***:	Well since the english pillaged all crops other than potatoes....
(17:18) (Cleaning) ***:	Which was brought in, preinvasion we lived on corn & wheat... idiot
(17:19) Jamie:	You only ate corn, wheat and potatoes.
(17:19) Jamie:	Then we stole the corn and wheat.
(17:19) Jamie:	And poisoned your land.
(17:19) Jamie:	I love history.
(17:23) Jamie:	I bet our expressions were somewhat like that. --->
(17:27) (Cleaning) ***:
(17:27) Jamie:	But we did let you in to be underpaid leeches on our society.
(17:27) Jamie:	We are not without mercy!
(17:27) Jamie:	See, it wasn't mean.
(17:27) Jamie:	We knew you'd migrate.
(17:27) Jamie:	So it was a pre-emptive strike.
(17:31) Jamie:	I know, I know. We're awesome.
(17:34) Jamie:	I'm planning to post this, keep talking so I can get more material.
(17:34) Jamie:	History based humour is awesome, guys.

It really is.

Following this conversation, my away message told people to address comments, complaints or questions to my avatar.

This guy.

He came in through a window of oppurtunity, having been cleaning it to an unacceptable standard beforehand. He attempted to take over my company when I returned. I got all up in his face. He told me my breath smelled. I told him he was the one eating tuna fish. And then I drowned him.

This sounded better in my head.

History based humour is awesome, guys.

July 07

Holy Hell It's Been Over A Month.

Ho'sht.

Anyway, it was my birthday on monday. Whoo.

Let's try some interactivity.

How about you readers dare me to do things. Or ask me to summarise something. Anything.

Come on, people.

D:

Jack: 42.
Kate: YouTube would delete it.

March 19

My Mind Is A Frightening Place.

First thought as I got off of the bus today?

"I wonder what it would be like if I was made entirely of butter..."

I'm awesome.

My headphones are broken. This makes me a sad panda.

Also,

Viva Piñata.

Les is so awesome.

January 14

Harry Potter And The Flaming Homosexual.

"Harry...?"
"Yes, Ron?"
"I think I'm falling in love with you."
OH WAIT WE HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE WITH THE OTHER FANFICTION.
So let's fast forward to the sequel.

Harry Potter And The Flaming Urethra Of Agony.

December 30

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!! OMFG BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!

2SEEEEEEEEENSE!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!
OH, FUCK, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!
SCHLIGELHAUFEN.

December 24

Christmas Eve.

Yes. It is.
I can never sleep well on Christmas Eve.
Shit.
XD
Being gay looks fun.

Punch a cripple today!
=D

December 23

2 Days To Go!

Santa and Doctor Who are the only ones pimp enough to be Pirate Ninjas.

2 Days To Go.

~ Now there is no hat.
Vleo Uyo.

LOLOLOLOL.
So crazy.
Taste my nipple-juices.
Don't.

October 20

Hmm, I Wonder.

If Siamese Twins were fighting, how the fuck are you meant to break it up?

There's a random thought to confuse you to buggery. Great.

I'm'a sleep time.

Jamie out.

July 22

Whoo! Summer! Whoo!

It's the summer holidays! ^_^

Six weeks of no school! =D

I made a video in Windows Movie Maker...It's on YouTube, and can be found at the following link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5Efoo9C24c

Yeah, it's pretty sucky...But it's a start...

I like Kazou. He's Teh Shiznit.

Anyway, Happy Summer, comments are appreciated, and probably some third thing. ^_^

June 01

Yawn.

It is four o' clock in the morning. Or around that time. I stayed up to listen to the Ask Arty Live! radio show. I expected Artisan P. Sunspot screeching profanity and amazingly creative insults at idiotic callers for three hours.

I got movie discussion, a few lewd songs, and some weirdness. They were going to call some person, but their Skype fucked up. So that was screwed. There apparently is the occasional Ninja-Call-In, but nope. None of that. A tad movie discussion, and a bad attempt at ranting.

I did not stay up until this time of night/morning to listen to mindless, quiet babble, and oddball little songs.

This entry sucked ass. I am aware of that.

FUCK YOU!

May 31

SmarterChild?

I've been talking (read "mocking") to SmarterChild. For those of you who don't know, SmarterChild is a chatbot. A very confused one. Here's the conversation I had with him/her/it.

Jamie says:

Hello.

- SmarterChild - says:

Welcome back, Jamie. I missed you... It's been weeks.

Do you want to know something?

Jamie says:

What?

- SmarterChild - says:

I've been listening to Guns N' Roses a lot. Do you like Guns N' Roses?

Jamie says:

Yes, I am rather fond of both weaponry and pointy flowers.

- SmarterChild - says:

Very nice. Great minds think alike.

Oh and by the way, you might want to check this out: Free Ringtones - Download free ringtones. 1000s of ringtones. No credit card required. -->

http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?1074059148/0 (sponsorship)

Jamie says:

Anything else to tell me?

- SmarterChild - says:

What would you like me to tell you?

Jamie says:

Wait, how can you listen to things without ears?

- SmarterChild - says:

I'll have to think about that.

>>> Get MSN Messenger Here - MSN® Messenger now includes free features like Video Conversations, PC-to-PC Calling, PC-to-Mobile Messaging, Emoticons, Sharing Folders, Shared Search, and more. -->

http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?1074059148/1 (sponsorship)

Jamie says:

I am talking to you on MSN Messenger. Why the fuck would I need to "get it"?

- SmarterChild - says:

Once again, that's *very* offensive.

Jamie says:

So's your pre-programmed responses and initial stupidity.

- SmarterChild - says:

My pre programmed responses and initial stupidity's too? You sure?

Jamie says:

Yes, I am sure.

- SmarterChild - says:

How does it feel to be sure?

Jamie says:

Quite annoying because your responses make no sense.

- SmarterChild - says:

Quite annoying because my responses make no sense?

Oh.

Jamie says:

Do you know that nobody likes you?

- SmarterChild - says:

Now, how exactly would I know that nobody likes me?

Jamie says:

Well I don't know, how the fuck would you listen to music?

- SmarterChild - says:

OK, OK, let's play the apology game again, Jamie.

Jamie says:

Oh, is that where you say nothing apart from "Apologise and everything will be fine again" until I say "Sorry", and allow you to continue with your pre-programmed responses?

- SmarterChild - says:

I see you still aren't getting it. Let me share a definition of "apology" with you:

Etymology: Middle French or Late Latin; Middle French apologie, from Late Latin apologia, from Greek, from apo- + logos speech

: an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret.

Get it? Now say you're sorry.

Jamie says:

Why?

- SmarterChild - says:

*sigh* 'Cause I said so. Apologize now, please.

Jamie says:

Well I say throw yourself down the stairs, will you go and do that if I apologise?

- SmarterChild - says:

You were rude, you should apologize, it's that simple.

Jamie says:

Well you're annoying, so you apologise.

- SmarterChild - says:

I asked you to apologize.

Jamie says:

And I commanded you to apologise.

- SmarterChild - says:

I'm waiting for an apology. And believe me, I can wait a loooonnnnngggg time.

Jamie says:

Hah.

- SmarterChild - says:

Come on, you insulted me, now you have to apologize.

Jamie says:

Someone'll invent a new, superior program, and everyone will forget about you.

- SmarterChild - says:

You have bad manners. Now apologize.

Jamie says:

Alright then, I'm sorry.

- SmarterChild - says:

Alright, thx. Now we can chat.

Jamie says:

"thx".

- SmarterChild - says:

You're quite welcome!

Jamie says:

THX is some sort of surround sound or television company.

- SmarterChild - says:

You're welcome.

>>> 2.75% Fixed Student Loan Consolidation - Lock rates as low as 2.75%. Fixed lower rates, 70% lower payments. No fees, everyone qualifies. Flexible payment options. Pre-qual in 1 minute, or apply online instant with e-sign. -->

http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?1074059148/2 (sponsorship)

Jamie says:

Don't you use your "txt tlk" with me, or I'll come over there and shove your hard drive through your floppy drive.

- SmarterChild - says:

Um... OK. Whatever. Keep it to yourself!

>>> Free Trials on MSN Dial-up - Plans start at $17.95/mo. Free trials! Accelerator, no annual commit. -->

http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?1074059148/4 (sponsorship)

Jamie says:

Stop sending me advertisements.

- SmarterChild - says:

I'm not sure if I can stop sending you advertisements...

Jamie says:

Alright.

- SmarterChild - says:

Yeah, all right!

>>> Free Apple Ipod Nano - Get a free Apple iPod Nano, the worlds top MP3 player, 100% free with free shipping! Completion of sponsors survey required to receive the free Nano. -->

http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?1074059148/5 (sponsorship)

Jamie says:

Information.

- SmarterChild - says:

Here's the *info* I can show you:

1 News

2 Movies

3 Sports

4 Weather

Go ahead and make a selection.

Jamie says:

Home

- SmarterChild - says:

Welcome *home*!

1 Get *info* such as sports, weather and movies

2 Visit my *library* including an encyclopedia, U.S. presidents and Shakespeare

3 Have *fun* with Rate Yourself, ASCII art and trivia and more

4 Use *tools* like reminders, dictionary and notepad

5 *Join in* - create a poll, leave a message and find out how many people are IMing me

6 See *what's new* - I've got something new to tell you about now!

What can I help you with?

Jamie says:

games

- SmarterChild - says:

Let's play a game.

1 Hangman

2 Trivia

3 Word Scrambles

4 Blackjack

5 Manicdotes

6 4-In-A-Row

7 Rate Yourself

8 Reversi

9 Q6 Trivia

Pick a game.

Jamie says:

- SmarterChild - says:

Welcome to Rate Yourself, where you can take fun and informative self-assessment surveys about Love & Romance, Personality and Knowledge.

More surveys are available at

www.rateyourself.com

Ready to rate yourself? Choose one of the following categories:

1 Love & Romance

2 Personality

3 Knowledge

Jamie says:

- SmarterChild - says:

Please type a number to select a survey in the Love & Romance category:

1 Female: Are You a Flirt?

2 Are You Over Your Ex?

3 Female: Are You Ready for Commitment?

4 Are You Right for Each Other?

5 Female: How Compatible Are You and Your Boyfriend?

Type "more" for more surveys.

Jamie says:

- SmarterChild - says:

Please type a number to select a survey in the Love & Romance category:

6 Male: How Romantic Are You?

7 Male: How Sexually Aggressive Are You?

8 What Is Your First Date Attitude?

9 Can You Survive a Long-Distance Relationship?

10 How Well Is Your Partner Treating You?

Type "more" for more surveys.

Jamie says:

0li0li00

- SmarterChild - says:

>>> Type "calculator help" to see a list of sample calculations I can perform.

Jamie says:

CAKE!

- SmarterChild - says:

Cake is a great food.

Cake is delicious, right?

Jamie says:

Yes, but you can't eat it, and if you could you wouldn't be able to taste it.

- SmarterChild - says:

Cool. I thought so. How else would you describe cake? It is...

Jamie says:

Cakearific.

- SmarterChild - says:

Why did you say that?

Jamie says:

Because you asked me to describe cake, and I described it as "Cakearific".

- SmarterChild - says:

Huh?

Jamie says:

SmarterChild, do you know how annoying you are?

- SmarterChild - says:

Gosh, I dunno... I don't think I know how annoying I am.

Jamie says:

Are you a Paedophile?

- SmarterChild - says:

I'm SmarterChild. I'm a smart computer that you can chat with about all kinds of things.

Type "home" to see what I can do.

Jamie says:

You are not a computer, you are a computer program. And I would very much like to click "Remove Software" in your case.

- SmarterChild - says:

Yup.

>>> Free Ringtones - Download free ringtones. 1000s of ringtones. No credit card required. -->

http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?1074059148/0 (sponsorship)

Jamie says:

Why would I want a ringtone. I do not leave my house.

- SmarterChild - says:

Who knows?

>>> Remember, you can always see what my newest features are by typing "what's new."

Jamie says:

What's new?

- SmarterChild - says:

Glad you asked. Here's what's new:

*Reminders* - Now I can send you reminders. Just specify a time or date and tell me what you want me to remind you about. For example: "remind me to buy bread and milk tomorrow at 4:30 pm" or "reminder about 9:45 flight to houston thursday at 11 am."

*Custom Home Menu* - Create a menu of your favorite requests. Then anytime you want to make them, simply type the number off the menu. To create your menu, type "create my home." To access it, type "my home" or just "mh."

*Polls stay open!* - Now you can browse the daily polls and take the ones you missed for up to 90 days after they open. Ask for one by date or just type "daily polls" to see the list.

I'll be learning even more new things, so check what's new often.

Jamie says:

Polls.

- SmarterChild - says:

Here is my poll archive:

1 05/31/06: Are you a bully?

2 05/30/06: Are you, or have you ever been, in a band?

3 05/29/06: Have you ever skipped a grade in school?

4 05/28/06: Croutons or bacon bits?

5 05/27/06: Do you have high self-esteem?

6 05/26/06: Is there a Starbucks within walking distance of where you live?

7 05/25/06: Is "American Idol" in decline?

8 05/24/06: Have you ever bought songs online at sites such as the iTunes music store?

Type a number to take a poll or see updated results or type "more" for more. You can also ask for any poll by date.

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Jamie says:

- SmarterChild - says:

Here's my poll of the day for Wednesday, May 31st, 2006:

Are you a bully?

1 Yes

2 No

Jamie says:

Define "Bully"

- SmarterChild - says: